What is a Party Scholarship?

bianca called all of us trolls in one day, and she told us what the new party was going to be about. She said it's going to be a special, high class affair, and it's going to be a fund-raiser for our shack at Burning Man '98. We'll call it:


we all applauded, cuz it was a really good idea

"But," she continued, "we can't have as many guests at this party and we need to charge (because it's a fund-raiser). And that bothers me. As you all know, I love Everyone,"

[We all nodded, because as everyone knows, bianca loves Everyone]

"but we won't have room for Everyone at the party. And those who I love shouldn't be judged by whether they can afford a ticket or not. If anything, those who I love should be judged by how well they can party."

a murmur began amongst the trolls, until one amongst us shouted--"how can we know who parties well, when we don't even know what it truly means
to party?"

Quoth bianca: "We will have party scholarships. Whosoever can prove their partying skills, and therefore their contribution to the fun-lovin' soul of our party, who will selflessly share their enjoyment they will be welcomed.

We will admit them free to our party and we will ask them to show us their partying skill that we may learn from them. Their evidence can be in any form--video or audio tape, written form, web page, photograph, diorama, any medium in which they can communicate their partying prowess will be considered."

"But what do they get just for entering?"

"Just for entering they will receive a commemorative certificate suitable for framing or leaving around the living room so that telephone messages may be written on the back. It will be a really cool certificate.

If they are selected to receive one of the 40 or so scholarships, they will receive an even Cooler certificate, and they will get a special Foreplaya Party ticket (sort of like the ones in the Willy Wonka movie). If their partying skill as shown is something performative (musical, rhythmical, humorous or otherwise), then we'll ask them to perform at the Foreplaya party."

How to Apply:

for email and real-mail to:

bianca Troll Productions
Attn: scholarship program
PO Box 78097
San Francisco, CA 94107

The deadline will be July 9th. But depending on how many people apply, we may begin judging them earlier. So submitting early is the best plan.